DRAFT Magazine

Welcome to this blog’s first shallow-content post (yeesh, we’re only three in, too). Listen, I’m going to throw a few softballs at you every week. We’re three dates in, which is usually the time to unveil another shade of honesty. So, there you have it. Still, I promise you these half-dates are worth your time. If you disagree, then I’m sure your boss would side with you, you slacker. How many times will you minimize your browser today due to compromising co-worker foot traffic near your cube? Ready the go-to BS spreadsheet!

And now…

Welcome to my life tattoo. I’m a man now, thanks to you.

Kids get inked. But it’s what they’re putting on their body that always has the buttoned-up types in a bunch. Some opt for the too-drunk-to-really-understand Chinese symbol, others get matching tats with significant others. Some feel flesh is fleeting, so let’s send a message to the Man upstairs, while others imprint their muse: bands, authors (I’ve got one of those) or beer. What compels these folks to plod into the world of permanency?

Certainly not this guy:

Behold, brewery tats around the Web. Soak it up real goodlike:

This guy’s probably finished his Bigfoot back-tat by now. How many vintages were released in the time it took to complete?

“We gotta get out of here. This is bat country.”

Deschutes represent. This guy’s a true dissident.

The photo’s cropped so you don’t see the trucker hat.

This is a serious man. He upgraded to the foreign extra stout.

If this is a girl, please send me your number, we’ll have a hoot. CHANCES IMMEDIATELY RUINED.

Hands down, the gold-medal tat winner in this post. We like your dedication, Sir. And we like your taste in beer.

Send me your tat photos to publicly conform to this counter culture. ADMIT TO YOUR FANATICISM. If you send enough photos, I’ll show you mine.

What say you Roger and Pete? Why did I really get that tattoo in Savannah?

In other news: Hello February! Thanks for being the most efficient month.
Releases I’m all about this month:
* The Lost Abbey Red Poppy Ale
* Left Hand Chainsaw Ale (twice the horsepower of Sawtooth)
* Deschutes Jubel 2010
* Full Sail Top Sail Bourbon Barrel-Aged Imperial Porter
* Russian River Pliny the Younger
* Foothills Sexual Chocolate
* Jolly Pumpkin Madrugada Obscura

That should be more than enough to fill this month’s coffers.

Releases I’m not all about this month:

So many frowns and smiles. It’s like real life! What say you Ashton? “Love is the only shocking act left on the planet.” The other day I saw a vanity plate that read “CHILLAX.” I thought that was pretty shocking.

Announcement No. 1:
This specific announcement will probably end this week, but since I’m new to this neighborhood, I’ve got to do some street corner time until you regular customers know where to look. Each Friday I’ll post your questions — beer-related or otherwise — with answers that involve hours logged into Lexis-Nexis databases, nosing through Encyclopedia Britannica, perusing “The Tibetan Book of the Dead” and watching horrific cover songs on YouTube. I’m that dedicated.

See you tomorrow for amazing adventures in either beer-food pairing or beer marketing. I’ll let you know when I post the post.

So says HAL:
I am putting myself to the fullest possible use, which is all I think that any conscious entity can ever hope to do. Dave, this conversation can serve no purpose anymore. Goodbye.

EMAIL ME YOUR EMAILS!.